The Road Back To The Cup Begins Tonight!

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Goodbye IGLOO, You will be missed! Is it sad that the video below gives me chills and makes me want to cry like a baby?

Every end is the start of a new beginning. Just as the wrecking crew has finished demolishing the Civic Arena, the Pittsburgh Penguins are in Vancouver getting ready for a season opening showdown with the defending Western Conference Champion Canucks. Here's our quick season preview:

Goalies:


Marc-Andre Fleury #29

After a shaky start to the season last year "Flower" bounced back with MVP like numbers for the Pens. He went 35-14-5 over his last 54 games played last season, most of them without Crosby and Malkin. He is a stud. Need we say more?


Brent Johnson #1 ranked heavyweight goalie in the league

Everyone's favorite goalie/enforcer returns for another season to back up MAF. He can do more than just rearrange Ricky D's face. He played very well at the start of last season when MAF was struggling. He is a solid veteran backup. (And always nice to have in net when the Isles are in town)

Defense:

Deryk Engelland #5

Solid 6th/7th D Man. It's always nice to have a guy like this on your team, he plays well in his own zone and as evidenced by the picture above, he is pretty good with his fists as well. His one punch KO of Colton Orr last year was one of the best fights I have seen in person. With the scary depth the Pens have on D, he might not play a lot, but when he does, it will be exciting.

Kris Letang #58

Letang stepped up last year and more than filled the role left by Sergei Gonchar's departure to the Ottawa Senators. During the first half of the season he was one of the top 3 D Men in the league. He had a rough second half to the season, but with a healthy Malkin and Crosby on the way Tanger will get his points. His play in the defensive zone is highly underrated, he often plays against other teams top lines and is a very smart, physical, puck moving D Man. Expect him to be even better this year than last year. By the way, the Pens drafted him in the second round in the same draft that netted them some guy named "Crosby." Not too shabby. 

Ben Lovejoy #6

Another solid depth guy to have on D. A great guy who is truly happy to be in the NHL. He skates well and plays the defensive zone solidly. He is young and should continue to develop.


Paul Martin #7

Martin is a solid two way defenseman. He is not as skilled offensively as Letang, but he moves the puck extremely well and is a great skater. He is not the toughest guy in the league but his game is all about positioning and moving the puck. He was signed as a free agent last year from New Jersey where they teach defense like it's the gospel. He sees time on the Power Play and the Penalty Kill and was a big factor in the Pens having the #1 ranked PK in the league last year. He doesn't seem like a $5 million a year player but he is worth every penny, just like an offensive lineman in the NFL, when you don't notice him that much, it's a good thing. You won't notice him much because his game isn't flashy, just solid.

Zbynek Michalek #4

Big Z has all of the tools needed to be an elite D Man in the NHL. He is a terrific penalty killer, shuts down the opposing teams top lines, blocks tons of shots, and skates very well. He doesn't use his body quite like Brooks Orpik does but he is very sound positionally. He sacrifices the body very well, and he led the team in blocked shots last year. He also posses's a booming shot from the point and during the second half of last season started to score a lot more. He isn't going to put up a ton of points but he might be the Pens best defensive D Man. In Big Z we trust.

Matt Niskanen  #2

A great guy to have on your third defensive pair. He was aquired along with James Neal in the Goligoski trade last season. He is not much of a downgrade from Goligoski at all. He has alot of offensive upside, skates well, has a good shot, and moves the puck well. Noticing a theme forming here with the D? They are all great skating, puck moving defensemen. He fell out of favor in Dallas after a season and a half of inconsistent play. NHL 11 wouldn't even let you trade Goligoski for Neal and Niskanen. Who knows how he pulled it off, but Ray Shero is a criminal genius.

Brooks "Free Candy" Orpik #44

That's all you need to know about Brooks Orpik. He hands out the free candy whenever it's necessary. He's one of the biggest badasses in the NHL and makes the Pens very very very tough to play against.


Boris Valabik #3

He was signed by Shero this summer, apparently because Letang and Sid wanted to finish this beating they were giving him in the picture above. I know the picture looks kind of suggestive, but they are wearing a lot of padding. All we know about him is that he is 6' 7" and Crosby and Letang used him as a punching bag once.

Offense:

Craig Adams #27

 He is a great veteran leader in the dressing room. He doesn't waste time scoring goals during the regular season. He only scores during the playoffs. He can grow a killer beard, he's a fantastic Penalty Killer and gritty fourth line player. He's Craig F'n Adams.

Aaron Asham #45

We all hated this guy when he played for the Flyers, but we can't change the past. We love him now. He is a nasty guy to play against, partly because he is scary looking, but mostly because he is physical and not afraid to drop the gloves. He actually possess a good amount of skill for a forth liner, he has good hands and a great shot. He lit up Tampa in the first round of the playoffs last year.

Matt Cooke #24

One nasty SOB. He was suspended for the last 10 games of the regular season and the first round of the playoffs for an elbow he delivered to some joke from the Rangers. He has vowed to change his game this year because if he gets one more suspension he could be gone. Having said that, we love the way he plays the game and he is a key part of one of the best 3rd lines in hockey with Staal and Kennedy. Who knows who he will play with this year until Sid gets back. All we know is that we love having Matt Cooke on the team and hope he keeps his elbows down this year.

Pascal Dupuis #9

Another great locker room guy. He has been Crosby's linemate for his entire tenure with the Pens. He is a fast skater who has a great slapshot and is a great Penalty Killer. Lets hope that he has to fill the rest of his back up with more tattoos of the Stanley Cup.

Tyler Kennedy #48

Any time we can put a picture of Chris Osgood being scored on, we will jump at the chance. This goal was from game 6 of the 2009 Finals. The Pens won the game 2-1 this is the second goal. Suck it Detroit. TK had a great season last year and he stepped up in a big way by scoring 21 goals in Sid and Geno's absence. Now that he is being paid like a 20 goal scorer, he should be even more motivated to have a better season than last year. Let's all hope.

Chris Kunitz #14

Kunitz has been Crosby's other linemate since he became a Penguin. Although he seems to have much better chemistry with Staal. He fits Coach Bylsma's system well, he is a straight line player who throws his body around like some of the guys from the Jackass movies. For a smaller guy he can really hit. He also has a terrific shot and complements Sid very well.

Mark Letestu #10

Played very well last year during the first half of the season while Staal was out with his foot infection/broken hand. Isn't the fastest skater in the world but he has a killer shot and shows great poise with the puck. More of the same this year would be great.


Steve MacIntyre #33

The replacement for Eric Godard. He is 6'5" and he can fight. He's a southpaw, so he's basically just a bigger, white, Canadian version of Manny Paquiao. He will be fun to watch. Moving along....

Richard Park #12

This pic was taken almost 10 years ago. He looks exactly the same. The good thing about having Richard Park on your team is twofold, 

One: he won't score five goals a year against the Pens anymore

Two: this is the move that Ray Shero HAD to make to get the Asian population in Pittsburgh excited about hockey again. They've been very bitter ever since Park left. It's great to have him back.

Steve Sullivan #26

This year's version of last year's Mike Comrie signing. Only Hilary Duff doesn't come in the package. In all seriousness we have liked Sullivan as a player for a long time. He has spent alot of time in the Western Conference. He may not be familiar to most Pens fans but when this guy is healthy he can flat out play. They key is his health. He has a laundry list of injury issues over the past few years. Shero knows him well from his days as the assistant to the regional manager in Nashville. In Shero we trust.


Jordan Staal #11

He has surprised us from day one, when he made the team as an 18 year old. We wanted the Pens to take Toews, but whatever. Staal showed during the second half of last season that he is a legit 30 goal scorer now and he is the best defensive forward on the team. He just turned 23. It's scary to think about how good this kid will be in a few more years.



James Neal #18

We are really excited to get to watch Neal play with Sid this year. Neal has a wicked shot and if he can find a little opening in the D, Sid will find him. Expect at least 30 goals from him this year, he has all the tools to do it. He's got size, speed, soft hands and one heck of a mullet.


Geno #71

Geno, is back. He had a terrific preseason and should start off the season strong right from the get go. He only had 15 goals in 34 games played last year but he was hurt the whole season. He is pissed off that people wrote him off a year ago. Word out of Russia was that he trained with Ivan Drago this summer. He's ready to go. Look for at least 115 points from Geno this year. One more quick thing about Geno, he has his own twitter account now. I suggest you take a look at it. Unintentional comedy at its finest. He hasn't learned to put the eyes on the smiley face yet so all of his tweets have some variation of this in them ))))))). Maybe ))))) translates to :):):):):) in Russian. Who knows?

Sid #87

Almost forgot about this guy. He's decided to give the league a little head start in the scoring race and that's ok. He will be back in a few weeks and everyone can stop worrying about him. Watching him and Neal play together will be something special. Just wait. Mark it down, Sid will win the scoring title this year. No doubt. He can't wait to get back and when he does he is going to unleash holy hell on the entire NHL.



Season Prediction:


Look for a regular season in the ballpark of 110-115 points depending on if Sid misses more than 5 or 10 games. They will win the division. Hopefully leading to a match up with the Flyers in the first round so that they can send them home as usual and keep this awesome shirt relevant.

After they win the second round, they won't be playing Washington in the Conference finals because Bruce Beadreau will be more worried about the buffet at Golden Corral than actually coaching a hockey team, so as usual they will lose in the first or second round.


Final Prediction:


Jean Claude Van Damme Marc-Andre Fleury stones the Blackhawks in Game 7 or 6 or 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals and we get to see this again:

Now, there's only one thing left to say:

Please comment below, we will be giving away two free tickets to a Pens home game to a randomly selected numbered comment.

GO PENS!

The Nightmare Continues

Penguin fans, welcome to your nightmare. Penguin superstar Sidney Crosby is still experiencing symptoms from his concussion (or concussions, depending on whom you want to believe) suffered in the Winter Classic. He had to shut down his offseason workout routine because he started to experience headaches when training at 90% capacity. Furthermore it was revealed by the Penguins that Crosby has seen multiple specialists in an effort to get answers about the extent of the injury.

Just days after denying a claim that Crosby didn't suffer a setback in his recovery from a concussion Pat Brisson, Crosby's agent, gave Penguins fans more reason to worry, "We always knew this was going to be a progressive recovery -- based on how he felt," Brisson said in Wednesday's statement. "With a concussion, there is not a finite recovery period like with a shoulder injury or a knee injury. That's why we've never even set a specific goal for a return date like the start of training camp or Oct. 1 or anything else. He will play when he is symptom free."

Just to recap, on Monday Brisson said Crosby was still working out, presumably in order to be ready for camp. Two days later, it is revealed that Crosby has been experiencing symptoms and now he is traveling all over the country to see specialists. What a difference a few days make.

They key part of Brisson's statement is the last sentence. He will play when he is symptom free. It has been 9 long months since Crosby has been injured. He has not been able to shake the symptoms yet. Concussions are a scary thing and have forced other greats of the game to retire. Pat LaFontaine had to retire due to multiple concussions, as did Eric Lindross (with a little help from Darius Kasparitis) and most recently Paul Karyia.

There is no guarantee that Crosby will ever get back to 100%. Let that sink in for a second. There is a possibility, however small it may be, that Sidney Crosby has played his last game in the NHL. It's a nauseating thought.

The only good news that has come of these recent developments is that Crosby finally issued a statement through the Pens, "I appreciate all the support I've received from my family, friends, teammates and fans and from the entire Penguins organization," Crosby said. "I know they only want the best for my health, and for me to be fully ready when I return to game action."

This has to be absolutely killing Crosby inside. To have an injury like this has got to be the most frustrating thing he has ever had to deal with in his career. His fate doesn't lie in the hands of a surgeon. All he can do is wait, and wait some more. You can't rehab a concussion. Like Tom Petty sang, "The waiting is the hardest part."

It's hard on the fans, the Penguins organization, and most importantly Crosby and his family. Don't count on Crosby being ready for the start of the regular season. For Penguin fans, this is one nightmare that just won't end.



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Jersey Shore Running Diary

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Please welcome our TV/Movie correspondent Mike Ransom for his first post, a running diary of last nights epic Jersey Shore Episode. Without further ado, here is Mike's Diary.

Running Diary of the Jersey Shore:

First off, we need to figure out why we watch the Jersey Shore, is it the most unintentionally funny thing most of us has ever seen, possibly. Does it make us feel better about our own lives, absolutely. Wait, they make how much money an episode? Now I just feel awful.

Secondly, why is this show still called the Jersey Shore? They need to come up with a more creative name, I also suggest that they name each episode, I would have called this one “Gorilla In the Mist” because Ronnie looked just like a silverback gorilla when he took his shirt off and started pacing around the house, debating on how much damage he needed to do to Sitch. I think he settled on somewhere between excessive and postal!

Min.

0:00- Ron and Sam are back together ( wonder how that’s gonna work out)

0:01- Deena rises from her previous nights escapades with her “totally trashed” sleeping mask, seems to sum up her previous nights pretty well

0:02- Sitch’s twinning was ruined by deena, he is clearly upset

0:03 Vinny describes being robbed by deena the previous night, he claims he was tag robbed

0:05 Sitch starts spreading rumors, as usual, he claims he needs to bring the truth because he is the peoples champ, I am not so sure. I have never see a more narcissitic insecure individual  in my life, is it a bad thing that he makes me feel better about myself? I think I have a serious problem

0:06 The girs are walking around looking for a place to eat, snookie claims “I need to talk over a glass of wine” I’m fairly certain it was 9am when she said this

0:07 Jenni is wearing a hat that is approximately 35ft. in diameter

0:09 Snookie drops this bombshell, “I licked a nipple once” that pretty much speaks for itself

0:09 Vinny has this to say to Deena when she walks in the kitchen, “at least the carpets are clean” I thought they looked very nice as well.

0:09 Pauly follows with this clutch quote to Deena“common lesbihonest” I need to figure out a way to use this word more in during my everyday interactions

0:10 Deena fires back,” It was a good $*#)$*% time”   Vinny jumps in with “this might be the best dinner of my life.” I couldn’t agree more

0:13 The girls decide to play “dress up” for dinner. They are all adults, keep that in mind. More importantly they are all wearing huge hats. J-Wooooooooooowwwww’s new hat is approximately 70ft. in diameter. Sammi makes a great choice to wear a smaller hat, so as to avoid getting the brunt of the jokes from the guys, veteran move by Sammi, maybe the best choice she has made in 4 seasons.

0:14 Sitch describes the girls outfit in an extremely sophisticated manner.  “they looked like the Kentucky Derby *#)@%& the easter bunny” I don’t believe this is anatomically possible but, Sitch is the peoples champ, so he would know.

0:15 Mike tells Deena that he knows what she did the previous night, Deena quickly denies, and as this is happening Ronnie shoots her a look that clearly says “I’m not buying this”. Deena keeps explaining and the camera pans back to Ronnie, who is now staring straight ahead blankly, and cross eyed. He looks like he is staring into a magic eye painting . The ones that show the 3d image if you stare at them just right.

0:16 Mike explains that Deena “has a criminal record for rooster blocking and it is a serious offense, it will be on her record for 7 years” if that is true, (and I haven’t brushed up on crime sentencing lately) then Mike’s rooster blocking  will be on his record for approximately 700 life sentances.

0:17 Vinny makes the most ridiculous statement of the night when he tells Deena “next time I might like the girl, so don’t just come in the room and lift up the covers” this statement killed me, last year at the Jersey Shore, he slept with about 2,456 women, I guess he just hasn’t found the right one yet.

0:18 Vinny and Pauley are demanding an apology from Deena, they are clearly not happy about her actions.

0:18 Pauly explains that its time to pull a little prank on Deena. Vinny and Pauly decide that prank should be…………… moving her bed into the family room. Pauly happily shouts “That was the best day of my life” what can I say, Pauly is a simple man.

0:19 Jenny uses the word malicious when she sees Deena’s bed in the family room. There is a 0.00001% chance she knows what malicious means, nonetheless it is, by far, the most intelligent word ever used on the Jersey Shore.

Quick Sidebar: Sitch finds his haircut stylish. Can anybody figure out why this is? It looks like he has a grass divot on top of his head, and most of the time he has stars shaved on his head. Some things I will never understand, like complex physics and Sitchs haircut.

0:22 And we’re back, Deena is now having a panic attack. Jenny just carried the bed back inside her room by herself while Pauly and Vinny sit there in their beds, they look scared. She is clearly the second strongest person in the house.

0:24 Pauly tells Deena that he should have told her she was upset because, “sometimes my jokes are harsh” yea like that time you put Deena’s bed in the family room.

0:25 Sammy tells everyone to “kiss and makeup” they should listen to her, she is an expert on this subject.

0:29 Pauly, Deena, and Snookie are on their way to work, good times to follow for sure.

0:30 Snookie just had this interaction with a co-worker who speaks no English,

Co worker “el pasar” (he’s trying to get past her) I don’t speak English

Snookie “I know, I don’t know what the &$*# you’re saying anytime you talk to me”

Snookie is quickly making friends at work.

0:31 Ron is on the phone with a girl named Hanna, he is explaining to her that she needs to come out to visit him. Just wanted to refresh you, Ron and Sammi got back together last episode, ok?

0:34 Deena and Snookie attempt the always difficult “fit one midget and another slightly taller girl into an oversized garbage bag” the boss was not happy about this

0:35 Snookie and Deena decide that they are not “enjoying” work, so they do what any logical person would do when they are bored at work, they have somebody buy them wine and sneak off to the bathroom to drink it. I think this move has the ability to catch on.

0:38 Snookie and Deena get caught by their boss with the wine, the boss pours it down the drain and snookie says “that was alcohol abuse cuz I could have definitely drank that” she then exclaims that “this job sucks” MTV really dropped the ball on this one, why couldn’t they find Snookie a place to work where she can get drunk at the same time?

0:41 Ron and Sam go on a date

0:46 Vinny tells us that he likes trying to pick up women who speak Italian because “ they are a challenge” you have to love this guys determination, he never takes the easy road.

0:49 Ron and Sam are fighting. Ron leaves the club.

0:50 Sitch has this to say about the night, “ as usual I’m nabbin girls, more than one, I end up nabbin a girl for Pauly, two girls, two guys, sounds like a good time to me” I am the ONLY person who is 99.99% sure he is gay.

0:51 Ronnie goes on a rant about how he doesn’t put women on a pedestal (im really paraphrasing here, but what he said was way too romantic for me to repeat.

0:52 Sitch gets rooster blocked by the girl he brought for Pauly. If you paid close attention to the girls face that was with Sitch. She looked like she was just rescued from a prision camp.

0:53 Ronnie explains that he is about to go “Gully” on Mike. I am not sure what this means but based on the context clues and the fact that he took his jewelry and shirt off, we can only assume that he is going to challenge Sitch to a bodybulding contest.

0:54 Guess I was wrong about the bodybuilding contest cuz Ronnie just picked up the couch Sitch was snoozing on and flipped him off it. He might have just wanted to keep drinking with Sitch and was simply upset he was passing out on the couch, but I could be wrong here.

0:55 Man I was way off, Ronnie just told Sitch that he was going to “^#!* him up” there is still a small chance he was referring to beating him at a bodybuilding contest but it’s getting less likely by the minute.

0:56 Ronnie pulls a Kevin Hart by clapping his hands and yelling “It’s about to go down” I am now 60% certain this is not going to lead to the bodybuilding contest.

0:58 Sammi calls out Sitch for telling her that Ronnie told him he was going to bring home 5 girls the first night they were in Italy. Sitch can’t seem to remember sayin this for some reason even though they flashback to him sayin exactly what he is denying. I am afraid we might have to start calling Sitch, “The Amnesia” from here on out.

0:59 Hide the women and children! Ronnie has now resorted to his patented “remove all of my roommates possessions quickly and messily from the bedroom” maneuver that he perfected last season on Sammi’s possessions.

0:59 “The Amnesia” is now pleading with Ron that, “I don’t get involved your relationships ron, please don’t be irrational now ron” he then proceeds to Hulk out and start screaming at Ron that he doesn’t get involved in his relationship.

0:59 “The Amnesia” still has his shirt on so one can only guess the bodybuilding contest is not an option. “The Amnesia”  is now asking Ron to hit him, which is like asking Lindsey Lohan if she wants another beer.

0:59 Vinny, and Deena are seen running towards the bedroom, which has now been transformed into a UFC octagon. Thankfully Deena was smart enough to bring her tiny green stuffed animal with her. We can only assume that she is going to use this to try to break up the fight, but everyone knows you don’t bring a stuffed animal to a fistfight. Rookie mistake.

0:59 Ronnie then quickly jabs “The Amnesia” in the face, picks him up and bodyslams him into the side of the octagon. At this point the show ends, but through round one, I would have to give a slight edge in the fight to Ronnie.